the kutch i never knew, is now sacred
The Kutch I never knew wasn’t a checklist of places, it was a Bonga full of memories and a bus ride full of bumps. The Kutch I never knew is now sacred to me. Being a city kid having roots in kutch, this was an experience I was excited about at the same time it embarrassed me that I didn’t know so much about the land where my ancestors lived. The journey started for me when we watched RolGol, the film was made so spectacularly, it connected me to the people of kutch and created a longing in my heart to go see the place.
The journey went quite smoothly, for me at least, however, there was a lot of chaos with my friends’ luggage at the airport. However, all’s well that ends well; when we reached our home for the next ten days, we ate the yummiest food that immediately reminded me of home.
I was very anxious because I didn’t know anyone well enough to pick roommates. Luckily enough, the rooms were chosen when I was using the restroom and my roommates were Jyestha and Veda❤.
We met Premji bhai’s family after and tried talking to them, but I think overall this experience was very overwhelming for us and them. They seemed very reserved and rightfully so but didn’t want to talk much about themselves. It threw me off but a quick conversation with Akansha helped me understand that these skills and rapport can’t be built in a conversation and it needs more time to cultivate. After introspecting that night, I decided to put less pressure on the conversation and to let it flow more naturally.
The Rann was a very ironic experience, to enter there was so much chaos and noise, it took away from the beauty of the place. Rather than attracting tourists, it made me not want to go back there. However, when we went further into the Rann and experienced its true beauty and endlessness, it was unreal. Jye, Veda and I felt like children again, crunching the salt under our shoes, tasting it and throwing it across the rann just to watch it crumble. It felt so freeing, in a way that all our actions seemed so insignificant in their vastness. Tent city was so much fun, we went in knowing that we would shop and eat. I chatted with a couple of stall owners there. It was so heartwarming to see their eyes light up when I switched to talking in Kutchi or Gujarati. I sometimes hesitated to talk in those languages because I knew that those conversations would not be understood by my peers at all and that felt unnecessary when both parties easily understood Hindi at most times. I have always to some extent been embarrassed to speak in Gujarati because certain stereotypes follow the language. However, after talking to the locals and being able to connect to them more easily, I found myself enjoying talking in Kutchi and Gujarati a lot.
The vastness of the Banni made me feel insignificant in the best way possible. It reminded me to look beyond myself and find the bigger picture, without forgetting that every blade of grass adds to the bigger picture. Metaphorically, it taught a lesson in the resilience and strength of the grass and how it survived years without rainfall. Jye and I had a very meaningful conversation while walking back towards how this moment and how whole it feels right now, how it would feel in five years and then ten. It was a bittersweet conversation that made me miss the moment while I was experiencing it. Chhari Dhand had this feeling of serenity, that flowed through me and made me feel calm and at peace. I also felt lonely, I remember wishing how beautiful this moment could have been if I had come here with my friends and family. Looking back, there was nothing I would change, I think I felt a shift in my thoughts while I was there. It was one of those places you want to go back to after you’ve just left. The bus ride back home was long and eventful. We stopped to look at the stars, which was so magical. Then, we got lost in the Banni Grasslands, I wasn’t really scared because I knew we would somehow find a way back, because some people still had google maps. The rest of the night we played Wordsearch around the fire and vibed to music, it was so lovely and as Jye would say ‘heart-shaped’.
Handicraft day was fun and I learned a lot throughout the day. At Ajrakpur, funnily enough, I’d always been attracted to the imperfect fabrics in shops like FabIndia without knowing that they were done manually unlike the machine-printed ones. I will now educate myself before buying anything and look at who I’m supporting by buying it. The Copper bell making and Rogan art was an incredible experience, to see them do it live and see the amount of skill and passion.
The journey to Dholavira is a visual I hope I never forget, I was mesmerised and couldn’t stop staring. It was intriguing to see different land in one frame, from the tarred road to the muddy path, pebbled shoreline, sparkling glistening water, white Rann that was endless to the clear blue sky. Even though the building of the road on the rann was a terrible idea, if something went wrong, it could have gone south so fast. It felt like I was trespassing on nature and as humans, we were entitled to all the beauty nature has to offer but at what cost? Dholavira was very underwhelming, the whole experience just felt like a mockery of civilization, rather than our respect for it. It was fun to climb up and down on rocks, I was very athletic and agile but all that stopped after covid. I’ve made a resolution to go on a trek at least once every two weeks. The experience at Kala Dungar was similar to that of the Rann on the first day. I felt like the sunset was spectacular but all the commotion and noise took away from it.
Talking to Kaladhar bhai was the most wholesome experience of the trip for me. He had so much knowledge and experience that he was eager to share. I’m usually terrible at keeping up with oral recitation because my brain doesn’t stop thinking and getting distracted. But it was very easy to keep up with him and understand what he was saying because it all came from the heart. One thing that stood out to me was the Ghujarats, one of them he told us was, “Banni jinki thi, woh Banni ab nahi rahi.” Seeing the amount of respect they had for their land was something I hope to experience.
The kolsa place left me uneasy, it wasn’t the children, women or men, in general just the energy of the place seemed very off and staged. I tried talking to the girls filling water but after initial answers, they just kept laughing at everything I said, which made me a little uncomfortable. It seemed very staged and unnatural.
It had been so long since I’d gone to the beach. Being a complete water baby I had so much fun just chilling in the water. Even though it took us three hours to reach, it was completely worth it. The other kutch groups joined us for dinner. While it was lovely to see all my batchmates, it felt like they were encroaching on our private bubble and it was a bit of a reality check. The wai singing was unreal, I didn’t think it was possible for humans to sing like that. I had goosebumps on my arms throughout the performance.
Every night we would talk around the bonfire, go play Uno and talk some more. Most of these nights were the highlights of my trip, we all bonded over dumb stories and stack Uno. The nights we stayed in Jeel Homestay were so special because it felt like our special place to bond and get to know each other. Unfortunately, the next day brought some very heartbreaking news for me. My grandmother who had been sick for a couple of months had passed away. I had a special bond with her because we lived together. My trip had come to an abrupt end and I got on the first flight the next morning back home. While I feel like I missed out on a lot of memories and experiences, I’m glad I got to be with my family in these tough times. I feel like even if I stayed back in kutch my heart and mind would be back home.
This trip was a once in a lifetime experience that will always hold a special place in my heart. I learnt how to talk to strangers and peers, making bonds beyond the classroom. I found out a lot about my roots and where and how my ancestors came from. I cannot wait to go to Kutch again and talk to the locals and see the land from their perspective. I found joy in making small talk and learning about other people and their lives. I experienced vemödalen (dictionary of obscure sorrows),” the frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist — the same sunset, the same waterfall, the same curve of a hip, the same closeup of an eye — which can turn a unique subject into something hollow and pulpy and cheap, like a mass-produced piece of furniture you happen to have assembled yourself.” Our generation has a bad habit of creating memories to capture, rather than capturing memories in photographs. It’s safe to say I didn’t have to create any memories on this trip but I’ll be going home with this adventure in photographs.
